The first time you Skype and see each other again

It’s absolutely heartbreaking for me. I can see him, I can hear him, but I can’t feel him. I cry because I can see his face, the one I’ve been dreaming of since I left him. I reach out my hand, and he does the same, but we can’t touch each other. I cry, he cries, we both miss each other and we’ve only been apart 59 hours (not that I’m counting). But this is my life now. Skyping, when his Internet works, or calling, which is costing the Earth. But I’d give anything to speak to him. I’d give anything to be with him again.

Do goodbyes actually get easier?

I’d like to say yes, but I’d be lying. This time I cried less, I slept less, I ate less but I hurt just the same. I tried with all my heart to remember what his skin felt like, smelt like, but it’s just a distant memory. This time, it feels as though I was never with him. It was all just a dream and I’d imagined it. I can’t remember properly what it feels like to be sitting next to him, holding his hand or stroking his cheek. I feel just as “down” without him as last time, and it’s only been 37 hours (not that I’m counting). But this time, I suppose I’m used to it. I’ve accepted my fate easier, and so has he. It’s definitely not as heart-wrenching as the first time we said goodbye. This time though, we know we’re going to meet again. It might not be in the UK as we had planned, but we will see each other again. And that’s what I’ll be holding onto. We will be together again.